He’s finally asleep. Conked out while I was heating up some water. Thank goodness.
In the early hours, he woke up and was sick. I was sound asleep and didn’t even realize it until he poked me and groaned when he came back to bed. I hate that I’m such a heavy sleeper. My boss, months ago, went to a funeral for one of his daughter’s friends that died one night in the bathroom while her boyfriend slept soundly in bed. When he found her in the morning, she was blue. I fear that someday someone will need me but I’ll be asleep, completely unaware of tragedy striking.
He said, when I paused while reading him a story, that he forgot how much I need to feel needed. I said that it helps me feel like I have a purpose in life.
Law school has been really rough on him. It would be on anyone really. It makes your life rife with self-doubt and even, at times, self-loathing. It’s these fleeting moments between semesters when those feelings aren’t all consuming when we fall in love all over again. Not that we’re not in love during semesters. It’s just he’s not “here” then.
I hate that he’s sick but I’m glad it gave me an excuse to stay home from work to take care of him. I’m going back to my parent’s house in Massachusetts for the holidays on Saturday so we have very little time left to spend together before he’s thrown back into the law school tunnel. But it’s his last semester and I couldn’t be happier. He’s worried about finding a job, naturally, but I have a tremendous amount of faith in him. He’s far better than I at making a convincing argument and far smarter than most of our peers.
Lately, my work to move into freelance blogging has been paying off. Guest post requests have come in, blogging community applications were accepted, and even a possible job on the horizon. Even a little hope is nice. Who knows, maybe I’ll get the whole dream after all, not just the shining knight of icky tissues.
About the Author: Kim Herrington blogs at TheMadeThing.com, tweets @themadething, and dreams of being a professional blogger one day. She lives in Fayetteville, Arkansas.